lThere’s a pill that does a lot of good,
only the color is not as it should.
A capsule that goes right inside your lady parts,
leaves many screaming for their sweethearts.
Why oh why must this be,
a pill that leaves no one carefree.
For when the capsule gets absorbed,
it’s destined to strike a chord,
with all those who hate to see,
the color red, in their undie.
Mimicking blood just for fun,
is sure to please no one.
I have wondered, I must admit,
who came up with this sh*t.
Yes, except an amazing writer and badass scientist, I’m apparently also a great rhymer! I’m just full of surprises, aren’t I?
Okay, maybe I shouldn’t oversell the rhyming stuff as it might just discredit my other talents. Besides, I’m not sure “rhymer” is the correct term for those who write poetry anyway.
Anyyyyhoww. My OBGYN was nice enough to prescribe progesterone suppositories as luteal phase support for the cycles we’re trying to conceive naturally.
One of my internet friends already warned me that her pharmacy recently switched her over to Progesterone pills that were red.
Why on earth would they make these things RED?!
Turns out my own pharmacy got the same ones and I’m stuck with the red ones too.
They could have made these in any other color. Blue, green, yellow… all would have been absolutely fine. Weird, but fine.
Sorry, I just can’t seem to wrap my head around this one. This product is frequently used by women during the two- week wait (where you don’t like to see red discharge on your toilet paper or liner), or during early pregnancy (where it’s not that cool either to see something looking exactly like blood in your panties).
Women who’ve had losses in the past get prescribed Progesterone pills too. I bet they just love seeing bloody stuff every time they go pee. Not traumatic at all. Very reassuring. Much better than the white colored alternatives for sure…
Swallowing the Red Pill
I reached out to the manufacturer who responded with the following statement:
“In the recent past, it has been brought to our attention that Progesterone Capsules is [sic] being incorrectly used as a vaginal suppository even though it is approved only for Oral administration and should be taken by mouth only. We have also been informed that the product has been prescribed as a vaginal suppository.
[We] hereby advise all concerned that Progesterone Capsules 100mg and 200mg
should only be taken as per the instructions and for the indications approved in [sic] the label.”
So even though the label on my pill bottle clearly says it should be taken vaginally, it’s officially only supposed to be used orally. No matter what your doctor says.
Doctors often don’t recommend taken the pills orally because of the lower bio-availability to the uterus and increased side effects. But this does give the pharmaceutical company a great excuse.
Were the manufacturers of this pill just huge fans of The Matrix? Did they want everyone to see how deep the rabbit hole goes? Which makes me wonder if they have a blue pill version as well (Viagra?).
Speaking of rabbit holes… While searching for an image to include in this post, I came across an interesting phenomenon. Apparently, there’s a whole internet community called “The Red Pill”. No, it has nothing to do with Progesterone pills!
It’s a group of (mostly?) men who believe the world is undervaluing men and overvaluing women. They talk about the rapid civilizational decline and of an oppressive society, thanks to women. This Business Insider article explains the phenomenon. Highly entertaining stuff for sure…
Either way, the color red remains an “interesting” choice for a pill, no matter what their reasoning was.
Update: Alternatives Available
Edit: I’m happy to update that my pharmacy was able to special order different brands of Progesterone pills. I didn’t really care which brand, just that they were any other color but red. They offered me two alternatives, one by Virtus and one by Teva. So in case you’re looking for alternatives, make sure to talk to your pharmacist!